Monday, November 30, 2009

The Itsy Bitsy Spider Went Into Julie's Bag

I think some of you know that our house has an inordinate amount of spiders. About a year ago I went to boil water for tea and three spiders came crawling out of the hinge on the spout. We have had several spider eggs hatch which resulted in about a thousand baby spiders on the wall; once when we arrived home at 2am after a night of carousing about town. I am sure if anyone was watching it was comical to watch two drunk people squish a thousand spiders with paper towels. For us, not so fun. Most recently I had a spider drop out of the tissue I was blowing my nose into.

Seriously horrifying stuff. Today I have added a new chapter to the spider chronicles.

I left the house this morning with the promise of a rainy commute home so I packed my rain boots and other goodies in a Whole Foods reusable bag and took off for the bus stop. The bag was pretty full. It held my aforementioned boots, a pair of shoes to change into in the office, a book, a yogurt and my purse. When I got on the bus it was pretty full but I managed to find a seat. I busted out the old lady reading glasses (which must be ultra hilarious to my fellow commuters to see me reading Twilight with old lady reading glasses) and my book and settled in for a crowded commute. As I took the book out of the bag I saw the spider on the book. The bus is packed at this point, someone sitting to my left someone standing in the aisle to my right. Freaking out was not an option. I transferred the spider from the book to the inside of my bag, where he stayed visible for about 3 seconds then scampered down into the depths of my bag.

Horrors.

The guy sitting to my left saw all of this go down and asked, "Are you OK? Do spiders freak you out?"
I said, "They freak me out enough to NOT want one sitting on my lap."
"Well if he comes back out I'll try to kill it for you."

There was no room to put the bag on the floor so there it sat, on my lap. I tried to read but I was distracted by my constant vigil, waiting for the evil little thing to resurface.

I got out of the bus and emptied all of my business out onto the sidewalk. Out came the yogurt, the boots the purse...no spider.

So now there is a spider somewhere in my purse or boots or bag. It's enough to drive one to madness, knowing it's there, waiting to pounce. It'll probably lay an egg in my purse.

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